爸爸的縫紉課

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內比,西北烏干達|自願縫製布衛生棉的爸爸們
在內比的每一日,阿魯爾(Alur)族人總是不吝展現他們熱情好客的傳統。每抵達一個村莊,婦女、孩子總會衝出來迎接我們。有一天,一如往常被盛大迎接的我們,看著眼前滿滿的人潮、繽紛多彩的服飾而眼花撩亂,卻發現居然有男士也在人群中揮舞著芒果樹枝跳舞。

Fathers’ Sewing ClassNebbi, Northwestern Uganda | For the fathers who choose to learn cloth pad-making

There was not a day in Nebbi that people of Alur tribe did not show us their tradition of warm reception. Whenever we arrived at a village, women and children always rushed out to greet us. One day, as we were again welcomed grandly and dazzled by the bright and colourful costumes of the crowd, to our surprise, we spotted men dancing and waving mango tree branches among them.

那一刻我和同伴們都愣住了。我們望著對方,表情困惑與驚愕交雜,試著確認沒有看走眼。就不說我了,面對烏干達人有時會臉盲,在依靠長相辨認他們性別時也會出差錯,但我的同伴都是本地人,他們總不會跟我一樣搞錯性別。然而幾天下來,這是我們第一次看到有成年男子出來迎接客人。此外,這次聚會是為了教導婦女縫製衛生棉,除了因需要被照顧而跟著媽媽、姊姊來的小孩之外,我們真真實實沒在這種場合見過男性出沒。我們猜想有可能是家族族長、村長之類位高權重的男性來打招呼,但這並說不通。如果是有一定地位的長者,他們並不需要出來,通常會坐在村中等待。當所有人到齊,一起圍坐在茅屋前的草蓆上,答案才終於揭曉:這幾位男性是陪同太太一起來學衛生棉縫製的,總共有四位。走過東非大大小小的村莊,幾十次、幾百次的教學,偶爾會有男性因長老、牧師的身份出席關照,但他們從不會拿起針線、學習縫紉。在這些部落文化中,縫紉畢竟被歸在女孩子的事,更遑論製作的是生理期用品。
At that moment, my companions and I were stunned. We looked at each other with a mix facial expression of confusion and astonishment, attempting to find clues from one another’s faces whether what we saw was real. As a foreigner who was less familiar with Ugandan faces, it normally took me more time to remember and recognise local people. Sometimes I did make mistakes telling their gender. However, all the other people in our team were locals. They would hardly mistake Ugandan women with men.  During our stay in Nebbi, it was the very first time that we saw men ushering the guests. In addition, the gathering was for teaching women to make cloth pads. Aside from boys carried by their mothers and sisters, there had never been men attending the training. We supposed that they might be clan leaders or tribal chief who came for greeting the visitors, while it was not a reasonable explanation. If they were elders with certain status in the society, they wouldn’t have to come to the village entrance. Instead, they would wait for us at the village centre. After all the people arrived and settled down on the straw mats, the puzzle was finally solved – these men, four of them, were accompanying their wives to learn pad-making. As we had travelled across numerous villages in East Africa and held trainings for hundreds of times, occasionally men showed up due to their position as patriarchs or pastors. Nevertheless, they never picked up the needles to learn sewing. After all, in local tribal culture, sewing has long been considered as women’s work.
好奇又困惑的我們決定邀請這幾位男性和大家分享學習製作衛生棉的原因,深信這會是一個很好的方式,鼓勵更多男性關注婦女面對的問題,也藉此建立婦女們的自信心。「我有女兒,我知道有天她們會需要,為了她們我決定學怎麼做衛生棉。」哈利(Harry),我們在村莊門口第一個撞見、揮舞芒果樹枝的高大先生這樣告訴我們。「我跟太太討論過,知道這個可以幫助我們省下錢供應孩子上學,女兒也不用因為生理期請假。我們希望孩子們都可以完成學業。」另一位男性,阿弗瑞德(Alfred )也這樣說。
Curious and confused, we decided to invite these men to share what had motivated them to learn pad-sewing. We believed that it would be a wonderful way to encourage men to understand the plight of women as well as to build women’s confidence. “I have daughters. I know one day they will need pads, so I decide to learn pad-making for them.” Harry, the first man that we spotted at the entrance of the village, told us. “I have discussed with my wife. We know that reusable pads will help us saving money for children to attend school, and our girls won’t need to take leaves because of period anymore. We hope all of our children could finish their studies.” Another father, Alfred, expressed.
這些丈夫用行動支持太太,他們看見了布衛生棉不只是「對太太有好處」,他們的孩子也能因省下的金錢得以讀書,無關乎性別,帶來的是整個家庭能夠一起成長。我想起在另一個村莊,雖然沒有先生出席,但一位媽媽亞比薩奇( Abisagi)告訴我們,當她回家和丈夫討論、分享布衛生棉能帶來的益處,他的丈夫給予了全力支持,鼓勵她好好學習這項技能。然而,並不是所有婦女都能得到丈夫的認同與支持。同樣在亞比薩奇的村莊,另一個媽媽羅斯林( Roslyn) 長期遭受家暴,她因此必須完全依靠自己照顧孩子,而學會製作布衛生棉解除了她生理上、經濟上的部分重擔。每一個婦女背後有不同的生命故事,無論家中狀況如何,布衛生棉都從旁協助,減輕了她們的生活壓力。前前後後我們在內比拜訪了九個村莊的愛女孩教學,也有幾次媽媽們提到,月經曾經是不能說的禁忌、不潔的象徵,即使是母女間也極少開口討論,如今因為聚集在一起學習縫紉,婦女們開始彼此分享經驗、彼此扶持。更難能可貴的是,我們遇見丈夫們、爸爸們理解這個計畫、付出行動支持,因布衛生棉受益的絕對不會只有女性。

These husbands supported their wives with action. They envisioned that cloth pads would not just “benefit their wives”. Their children would also be able to study with the money saved from purchasing pads. Regardless of gender, the whole family could grow together. Their words reminded me that in another village nearby, even though none of the men attended, a mama named Abisagi told us that after she discussed and shared with her husband how cloth pads would bring benefits to the family, he gave her full support and encouraged her to learn pad-sewing skills. However, not all the women were lucky enough to be recognised and supported by their husbands. It was also in Abisagi’s village that another mama Roslyn had suffered from domestic violence. She could only rely on herself to take care of the children. She shared with us that mastering pad-making had eased part of her physical and financial burden. Behind each woman we met, there were different life stories. Whatever condition they faced, cloth pads had helped to relive cost-of-living pressures. Altogether we visited 9 villages for pad-sewing training in Nebbi. Sometimes women also pointed out that menstruation used to be an unspeakable taboo, a sign of impurity which was seldom discussed even between mother and daughter. As women started to gather to learn sewing, they found place to share their menstrual experience and support each other. What’s even more precious was our encounter with those fathers and husbands who recognised this project and supported it wholeheartedly. It will never only be women who benefit from cloth pads.

 
並非所有人都能想像這點。在其中一個村莊,一位男性長者問我們:「這個計畫是給我們婦女的,那你們是不是有其他方式幫助男性呢?」他並不是唯一有此疑問的人,因為「愛女孩計畫」這個名稱,我們也曾被問及:「這是愛女孩計畫,那有沒有愛男孩?」回應這位長者的是我的一個男性同伴,同樣身在這個布衛生棉計畫之中,他十分清楚受幫助的不會只是女孩。布衛生棉的直接幫助固然是使女孩不再因經血來潮、缺少生理用品而輟學,而更進一步,它能協助家庭減少生理用品的相關開支,省下的金錢能供應子女上學,並不分男女。同時,身為經濟支柱的父親也能卸下一點重擔。也許無法立即見效,但布衛生棉其實對整個家庭有所助益。更進一步,它甚至能改變整個社群。
Not everyone can imagine this. In one of the villages we visited, a patriarch asked us, “this project is for women. Do you have other project for men?” He’s not the only one who has this question in mind. Due to the project name “Love Binti”, which means “love girls”, we had also been asked, “this is Love Girls project. How about Love Boys project?” Eventually it was a young man in our team who responded to the patriarch. Actively engaged in this pad-making project, he knew that not only girls would be empowered. The direct help from cloth pads obviously goes to girls who are at risk of dropping out from schools due to a lack of menstrual products. Moreover, the money saved from purchasing menstrual products can be used to pay children’s school fees. At the same time, the heavy financial burden carried by fathers who are the bread winners will be eased. It will surely take time to see the transformation, but cloth pads indeed benefit not just women but the whole family. It even has the power to transform the whole community.
我曾拜訪位於烏干達東部的伊奇伊奇(Iki-iki),當地深受愛滋滋擾,疾病造成五千多名寡婦、一萬多名孤兒。然而那一日,整個村莊歡欣鼓舞,聚集在教會裡慶祝,因為它們的一個女孩從大學畢業,即將進入附近的中學服務、教授英文。我也與內比的居民們分享了這個故事,如果我們能把女孩送回學校,也許有一天,這裡的村莊也將這樣慶祝。年輕女孩將會完成學業、回到家鄉幫助她的村莊,那不是很美好嗎?
I once visited a village called Iki-iki in eastern Uganda, which had been severely blighted by AIDS. The disease had resulted in around 5 thousand widows and more than 10 thousand orphans. Nevertheless, on the day I arrived, the whole village was immersed in joy and hope. People gathered in a church for celebration, because a young girl in their community had just graduated from university and was about to start her career as an English teacher in a secondary school nearby. Not just her family, the whole community shared her joy, knowing that she would bring positive change to their village. I shared this beautiful story with people in Nebbi. If we could send the girls back to school, maybe one day, the villages in Nebbi would also gleefully celebrate for them. One day, there would be young girls completing tertiary education and coming home to serve their communities. Isn’t it wonderful?
還記得寡婦愛黛兒的故事嗎?如果另一半的人口,被忽略的那一半,他們的聲音可以被聽見,很多事情會不一樣,而且因此受到幫助的人絕對不僅只我們所能直接想到的那些群體而已。同樣地,整個製作布衛生棉的課程、整個愛女孩計畫,看似是以女性為主體,但受益的其實不只是女孩、女性。愛女孩的愛,包含著更深的關懷,無論是丈夫對太太、父母對子女、村民對自己的村莊、或者是人對於所有苦難貧窮中的人所表現的關愛。愛女孩三個字,並不是只表達對女孩的愛而已,背後是一份更深更廣的愛啊。
 Do you still remember the story of the widow Adele? If the voice of the other half of the population – the half that has long been ignored – could be heard, the world would run in a different way, and people benefited from this change would be more than we could imagine. Similarly, even though the training of pad-making and the Love Binti project seem to focus solely on women, it does not only change the lives of women and girls. The love of Love Binti contains deeper care. It can be the love from husbands to their wives, from parents to children, from villagers to their communities, or even from human to all the others who are in need and suffering. The word “Love Binti” does not only express the love for girls, but it is an even deeper and greater love for humanity.

圖文:連怡涵

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